A doting father in the making....

I have heard and seen a special bonding between fathers and daughters. Her father is her first hero and eventually her image of a man depends on what kind of person her father is! I personally feel that he has the major role in her self-respect than anyone else in her life because what she learns at the early stages is what that makes her when she grows up. From the time we learnt we were going to have our Maya, all my friends told me to be aware of the fact that, even if I do the entire taking care of her part, she will naturally have a special relation with her dad and treat him much more special than me.

I often used to think what kind of father my husband would be. He is very loving and caring, yet he is the all-practical and I-know-it-all-matured personality in our entire family. He is the planner and his dreams were always way bigger than normal day to day living! I am this emotional person who practically is a non-planner and day dreamer and used to think that if he was going to remain this way, he might miss out the small wonders of life. But now, I see an entirely different version of him each and everyday and he has been talking and dreaming about the little activities of his child much more than me.

I often heard from couples that once a child is born, their entire conversation revolves only around the child. We have started experiencing that already, but in a different way than I had imagined. These days, whenever and wherever we see a child, whether its a beach or a park or a shopping complex or even a adjacent car in a traffic signal, his immediate reaction/question would be 'how old do you think that child is?'. Now, I am not an expert in children, but I am better than him because I had seen my niece grow up. He practically has never been near small children. I try to recollect how she looked at different ages and will come up with an approximate answer(not that all children grow up the same size, but he is satisfied with my answer anyway). Nowadays when I see him looking at a child, I start my internal calculation of how old that child might be and be ready with my answer even before he asks. Much to my suprise, my ever reserved husband asks how old their child is when we meet some parents with small kids.

And you wonder why he is so curious to know. He apparently wants his daughter to come and play with him right away. He shows me tricks that he used to do as a small kid and asks me if Maya will enjoy all of it, if she will be surprised when he does his little magic and be curious as how he does it. He constantly asks me when she will start recognizing him and smile and reach out to him. He is scared to hear stories about how little babies cry all night, but he also keeps a constant reminder that she will eventually start recognizing our faces and feel happy to see us and would stop crying. He dreamily talks of taking her to play areas and parks and even when we went to the library the other day, he went to look at the children book area and play stations and tells me that he would start taking her to these places once she grows up a little.

And there is this other important reason for his size and age check of babies. We planned to make our India trip for my brother in laws wedding and we assume it would be somewhere when Maya would be one to one and half years old. He wants to be sure that he can take her in his bike and go around to all places. And more importantly, he wants her to be a celebrity baby among all our relatives there. He asks if she would walk, talk and play around with people at that age. He has become this proud father who wants to show off his daughter and dreams of it everyday. Every time he sees a toddler running, he confirms it with me if our daughter will be running around in the marraige hall and look so beautiful with all pattu pavadai and make us feel proud and happy. Its cute to see how his dreams revolve around an event he considers so close to his heart with his dear daughter.

Before our marraige, my friends Jyothi-Adarsh, a loving couple I adore, told me that a relation evolves over the years and you start loving a father in your husband and so on as the days go by. I usually believe and follow everything that Jyothi or Shalu say to me:), but didnt really give it much thought at that time. Now looking at Uday, I understand what they were saying. Without my knowledge, Maya has become the centre of my world and yes, I surely love my husband, but I am much more in love with the father in him, than the person I married !:) And though I am a very possessive person who has always fought for my mom's attention, my husbands(even if there was no one to compete with), I will stand out and admire the beauty of the special bonding this father and daughter are going to have in years to come.

These are simple moments in our lives and something that happens in each and every parent's life, but I am writing this down in a hope that when Maya grows up to an age she can understand all this, she has the patience to read and know how much she was celebrated and loved right from the time she hadnt even seen the world yet!