And she is back again!!!!

The last two blogs have been about how hard it is to leave Maya in a new school environment and how she is all teary. Last weekend, she told me that she wants to stay at home rather than going to her new school. I was beyond shock because so far I have always made her wake up in the morning stating that, if she gets up late, she is going to miss school. I was scared of losing her enthusiasm, whether it has to be the new school environment or preferring to play with grandparents at home. So monday when I woke her up, I was actually scared. We had slept late on sunday night and I knew the tantrums she throws for taking bath, brushing her teeth and everything else that comes with the territory. She woke up, didnt say a word, took bath, got ready without crying, drank milk, ate very little breakfast (but still ate was a wonder). Then she told me at the after hours care that she expects me to come early and she cried the days before as she thought I was going to come late. I said wherever amma goes, she will come back to you and she seemed quite happy to hear that. She mentioned about her dad, so I asked her if she wants her dad to drop her some days. Very clearly she told me that, she is used to eating a bit slowly and her dad might not feed her right, so I need to pick and drop her. She said to wait for two mins to finish a picture and let me go, with a happy Bye after she finished it. In the evening, as usual I rushed because she was usually clinging on to the carer (who didnt sound like she liked it too much). But she was quietly playing with the other girls, not of her age group, a bit elder, but she was quite fine with them. She saw me, smiled and went back to what she was doing. This is exactly how she used to be in her day care. I was so happy. In a silly fashioned way, I missed that teary child who was so happy to see me, but I felt so relieved that she got used to that place and started mingling with other children. The same routing continued today morning too and I was happily sent off by her at the day care. Just wanted to write this down to finish it on a high note...rather than feeling sorry about her clingyness!!!

Working mum vs Stay at home mum

I have always been a working mum - started 4 months after both Maya and karthik was born. Have gone through terrible times and good times, missed my kids, cried in bathrooms, but its the life I have and after a few months, I have really started enjoying work. I know there are pros and cons of both working moms and stay at home moms and I honestly, respect both equally. But today, is one of those days, when I feel jealous or despise or I dont know what feeling I have dropping Maya off the after hours care. She is a very social child and there were days where I used to threaten her to wake up, else I wont send her to day care. She used to run and get ready because she loved going to day care. I dont think they do any differently from the day care in the prep class that she is going now. The activities are pretty much the same and she loves it. But whats bothering her is that, its a 8.30 to 3 school and many kids are getting dropped and picked up by their stay at home moms. In her day care, all her friends had working parents (else they wont be sending to day care, isnt it). So she was so happy there and didnt really see her differently. The whole of the weekend she kept asking me that I drop her and pick her off and today morning she woke up crying that, all moms drop their kids and pick them up. I dont want to be dropped by Kellie. I just froze and sat down for a while. It broke my heart. I have never felt bad for being a working mom. But I just wish, just wish that until she gets settled, I could take a break and be with her. So jealous and envy the stay at home moms who can be with their kids during these special moments. The talkative, adamant maya looked so fragile and sweet and I really think the days when she used to run to her friends and not look back at me from her previous day care were much better.