First flight journey

Its not the first flight trip I had in plan for my angel. Being abroad, the only trip I ever thought of was to visit India and had very happy dreams about them. But Mayas first one was entirely different.

Maya was born in 36th week and though it is not considered premature according to hospital standards, she was in the special baby care unit because of low birth weight. They wouldnt let us go home until she reached a certain weight. Even though we were sure we can take care of her better at home, we didnt have a choice but listen to them because as new parents, we didnt know what was best for our child.

She was born in Adelaide where I was working during that time, but later we had planned to move to Whyalla where my husband was working and our home was. Since the hospital wouldnt let us take her home, we asked for the other choices. Since she was a normally healthy baby without any complications, they said we could move her to a hospital in Port Augusta which is an hours journey from Whyalla where the hospital had resident pediatricians. I felt happier and relieved because I felt we were near home and my husband would be able to visit us everyday without tensions between us and work. We were satisfied to hear that the hospital was arranging a special flight for maya and there would be a doctor and nurse to monitor her. I was more happy when they said that the mother can travel with the baby. Everyone the family kept saying how Maya was lucky to have a flight arranged just for her and how her first trip was not in a car/taxi but in a flight. I am not sure if they said to cheer me up or they really felt it was a lucky choice, but definitely, its not something I would wish for any mom to have with her new born baby.

We were supposed to leave in the morning, but due to other emergencies, we had our trip scheduled for the evening. She was in a three hourly feed that time and it was so important because she was just a week old. They promised that the trip would take just 1 hr and so we will be in the port augusta hospital before her next feed time. When we left the hospital in a taxi to the airport, I was so happy because I didnt have her for just visiting hours, but with me all the time during our travel. That was a beautiful feeling. When we went to the airport, the flight was ready, but they didnt have any bassinette to put her in. It was winter and we were getting cold and more than that, I wanted to reach the hospital before her next feed time. The doctor/EMT who travelled with us asked if I can lie down on the stretcher and hold her instead of the bassinette. I was really thrilled because I was allowed to hold her for so long for the first time. I asked if it was safe for her and that person said she was in the safest hands possible when I am holding her.

There we were, on the stretcher and they boarded us on the Ambulance flight. The doctor/EMT put some wires to her little feet and said it was to monitor her heart beat. She was awake and kept looking at me with her beautiful eyes. The flight started after a long time than the original plan and I was getting restless about her feed. Throughout the entire journey, Maya didnt sleep. She was not only awake, but was constantly looking at me. She didnt show any reaction and I can remember the stare like it is just now. I had a few complications and was on medications, so I was falling asleep. I tried to keep awake as she was looking at me all the time. All my sleep went away when the doctor/EMT was looking at the heart beat rate monitor seriously. I knew that her heart beat was supposed to be twice as mine, but it went higher than that, but sometimes dropping down. I was getting nervous and was in tears. I cannot quite explain how it felt, because it felt like someone piercing a knife and tearing out your heart. You cannot get more scared than that. He would engage in small talk with me when I was also looking at the monitor, but I dont remember what he asked or what I answered. No mom would pay any attention to any talk when you realise that he was talking about heart beat rate dropping in the radio. And throughout the only thing that happened with Maya was that she was constantly looking at me.

If I had wings, I would have jumped out of that plane and flew much faster to reach the hospital. I prayed God than I have ever had in my entire life and I know he must have heard those prayers. We finally landed and they took us in an ambulance to the hospital. By then it was 5 hours since her last feed. We rushed to the baby care unit and I met a midwife who looked hard ( I was used to the sweet talk nurses/midwives in Adelaide and thought she was old and a bit hard. Later I realised that she was the most sweetest nurse/midwife I have ever met and taught me so much about taking care of maya). She was upset with everyone who was so careless about Mayas feed and asked me to first take care of mayas feed than any other hospital procedure. There my little angel, after her feed, slept finally and looked so peaceful.

While I waited for my husband to pick me up from the hospital, I went through the notes of what the nurse had written about Mayas condition upon arrival in the hospital and in that she had written in that 'dead eyes'. I cried so much that day, but I knew she was right. Maya didnt look at anything, but was in a stare that still scares me when I think of it. She gradually progressed and here I am with my little angel tumbling, cooing and making our lives wonderful than ever.

Now, whomever looks at her or her pictures, comment about her beautiful eyes first. I think of that day and thank God for the miracle in my life, Maya. However, I wish I hadnt had the first flight trip of my daughter so hard!!

Constant Tumbling!!!

Today I was reading a blog written by a mom - deepa about her daughter and I felt that little one growing up with the changes in each months blog. I realised how important it is to write about my little angel as and when possible. Even if I try to preserve every little memory of hers, she would eventually grow up too soon and I would miss the acts of this beautiful flower in my hands. Even if its not an interesting read for someone who visits my blog, for me, these are the most interesting ones that I can ever write

Hmm....About Maya now, she is going to be 6 months old in another two weeks. Mom takes care of her more than I can ever do and says she is never tired when she sees Maya opening her mouth to smile as much as she can. She is in a beautiful stage of turning even during her sleep. I can feel her constantly tumbling next to me during her sleep and I have to keep pillows in every direction. Its really cute to see her turned upside down. In a few moments, she will be moaning because she is uncomfortable. She seems to manage her teething sensation quite well. She is constantly biting her fingers, but needs a support to hold her teether if I ever give one. She is the only baby I have ever seen using both her thumb and forefinger together for sucking. Mom says she is the only one she has seen doing it for her age itself:) Its really astonishing to see how well she manages to align them together for sucking. How much ever I try to picture them, couldnt do it properly! I hate that I dont have enough photography skills:) Summer has started for us now and this little one is just like her dad, restless and uneasy throughout. The only difference is he would be complaining all the time about the heat and she is crying about it. I wish I could have a portable fan tied to her without causing any hurt!

She is doing a new thing each day and I hope to capture them in words as much as I can !